Christmas can bring out the best family traditions — but when parents have separated, it can also bring up some difficult questions.
Who gets Christmas Day Solihull? Where will the children wake up? What happens if both families have made plans? Can the children go away for New Year? What if one parent refuses to compromise?
These are not small decisions when you are trying to create a happy Christmas for your children while also dealing with the emotions of separation.
The problem is that there is no standard answer that works for every family.
Some parents alternate Christmas Day Solihull each year. Others divide the festive period. Some decide that the children spend Christmas morning with one parent and Boxing Day with the other. For families who live further apart, a completely different arrangement may be more practical. Can We Do Online Mediation to Speed Things Up?
The important thing is to find an arrangement that is clear, realistic and focused on the children.
If you and your former partner cannot agree, child arrangements mediation can give you a structured opportunity to work through the difficult parts without immediately turning the disagreement into a court dispute.
Why Does Christmas Become Such a Difficult Issue After Separation?
You might think agreeing a few days over Christmas should be straightforward.
In reality, it can be one of the most emotionally difficult parts of co-parenting after separation.
Perhaps you have always spent Christmas morning together as a family. Now you are trying to work out how that tradition can continue — or whether it needs to change.
Perhaps your former partner’s parents live nearby, while your own family have to travel several hours to see the children. Or maybe both sets of grandparents have already made plans.
Then there are the emotions.
One parent may feel they are already missing out because they do not see the children every day. Christmas can make that feeling much stronger.
A simple request such as:
“I’d like the children for Christmas Day this year.”
can quickly become:
“You always get your own way.”
or:
“You had them last Christmas, so it’s my turn.”
Once the conversation becomes about past arguments, new arrangements become much harder to reach. We Both Want to Stay in the Family Home — How Does Mediation Decide Who Gets It?
This is one reason holiday contact mediation can be helpful. It allows parents to take a step back from the argument and focus on the practical question:
What arrangement will work best for the children?
How Do You Decide Who Has the Children on Christmas Day?
There is no rule saying that Christmas Day Solihull automatically belongs to one parent.
The best arrangement depends on your family.
One option is to alternate Christmas Day each year.
For example:
- Parent A has Christmas Day in 2026.
- Parent B has Christmas Day in 2027.
- The arrangement alternates each year.
This can work well because both parents know that they will have the opportunity to spend Christmas Day with the children.
But it is not the only option.
Some parents prefer to divide the wider festive period. The children might spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with one parent before spending Boxing Day with the other. My Ex Has Broken Our Mediation Agreement — What Are My Options?
Others decide that splitting Christmas Day Solihull itself works for them.
However, splitting the day is not always practical.
If the children are young, moving between homes several times on Christmas Day may leave them tired and overwhelmed. If parents live some distance apart, it may involve unnecessary travelling.
Sometimes the fairest arrangement is not the one that divides the hours exactly 50/50.
Fair does not always mean equal.
A child-focused arrangement considers what is actually manageable for the children.
What If Both Parents Want the Same Christmas Traditions?
This is where Christmas contact arrangements can become particularly difficult.
Perhaps both parents want the children to:
- Open presents on Christmas morning
- Visit their grandparents
- Attend a particular family gathering.
- Go to a Christmas service.
- Spend Boxing Day with extended family.
- Stay overnight with them during the festive period.
You may both have perfectly reasonable reasons for wanting the same thing.
The answer is not necessarily deciding who gets priority.
Instead, look at the wider Christmas period.
Could one parent have Christmas morning while the other has Boxing Day?
Could grandparents visit the children at a different time?
Could a family tradition move to another day?
Could the arrangement alternate from one year to the next?
These conversations can be uncomfortable, particularly if neither parent wants to give ground.
This is where mediation can be useful.
A mediator does not tell you which parent should have Christmas Day Solihull. Instead, they help you explore the options and understand where there may be room for compromise. What Happens If We’re Not Married but Have Children Together?
At British Family Mediation Solihull, the focus is on helping parents have those difficult conversations in a constructive and supported environment.
What About School Holidays, New Year and Family Holidays?
Christmas Day is only one part of the problem.
The school holiday may last two weeks or more, and there can be just as many disagreements about what happens during the rest of the break.
For example:
Parent A: “The children should stay with me for Christmas Solihull and then go away with me for New Year.”
Parent B: “That means I barely get to see them during the whole holiday.”
Neither parent may feel that they are being unreasonable.
This is why it can help to look at the whole holiday period rather than one particular day.
You may need to agree:
- Christmas Eve
- Christmas Day
- Boxing Day
- The remaining school holiday
- New Year’s Eve
- New Year’s Day
- Overnight stays
- Collection and return times
- Travel arrangements
- Time with grandparents
- Any family holidays
It is also worth considering holidays outside Christmas.
Easter, half-term and summer holidays can create similar disagreements, particularly when one parent wants to take the children away. What Happens When Parents Can’t Agree on Child Arrangements?
The more predictable your arrangements are, the less likely you are to find yourselves negotiating the same issue from scratch every school holiday.
What If One Parent Wants to Take the Children Away?
A holiday can be an important opportunity for children to spend quality time with a parent.
But it can also cause concern for the other parent.
You may be comfortable with your former partner taking the children away for a few days but want to know where they are staying, when they are returning, and how you can contact them.
Or perhaps the proposed holiday clashes with your own planned time with the children.
International travel can raise additional questions about passports, consent and parental responsibility.
Rather than leaving these issues until the last minute, discuss them as early as possible.
You could make the arrangement clearer by agreeing a few practical details in advance, such as:
- Where will the children be going?
- When will they leave, and when will they come back?
- Who will arrange and manage the travel?
- Where will the children be staying?
- How can they stay in touch with the other parent while they are away?
- What happens if the plans change or there is an unexpected delay?
These details may seem obvious, but disagreements often arise because one parent assumes something that the other parent never agreed to.
If you cannot have that conversation productively yourselves, mediation can provide a place to work through it.
What If Your Former Partner Says, “The Children Are Spending Christmas With Me”?
Sometimes there is no negotiation.
One parent announces what is going to happen.
That can be incredibly frustrating.
You might receive a message saying:
“I’ve already made plans. The children will be with me for Christmas.”
Your first reaction may be to respond immediately.
But an angry message rarely makes the situation easier.
If possible, step away from the immediate emotion and think about what you actually need to resolve.
Is the disagreement about Christmas Day?
Is it about the number of nights?
Is it about travel?
Is it about seeing grandparents?
Or is the Christmas disagreement actually connected to a much bigger issue between you?
If communication has become difficult, mediation may help you get back to the specific issue that needs resolving.
You do not have to agree with everything your former partner says.
You need a constructive way of discussing the arrangements that affect your children.
What If You Cannot Agree on Christmas Contact at All?
Sometimes parents genuinely reach an impasse.
You have both explained your position.
You have tried to compromise.
But neither of you feels able to accept the other’s proposal.
This is often the point where continuing the same argument over text messages stops being useful.
Mediation can provide another route.
At British Family Mediation Solihull, parents can discuss their concerns with the support of an impartial mediator. The aim is to help you identify the areas where you disagree and explore realistic alternatives.
The mediator does not decide which parent is the better parent. How to Avoid Family Court During Divorce in the UK
They do not take sides.
And they do not simply tell you what arrangement you should have.
Instead, they help you have a conversation that may be difficult to manage alone.
For some parents, this is enough to reach an agreement.
For others, mediation helps narrow down the issues that still need to be resolved.
Either way, starting the process early can be much better than finding yourself facing a Christmas deadline with no agreed arrangements.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Do separated parents have to split Christmas Day 50/50?
No. There is no requirement for Christmas Day to be divided equally. A 50/50 split may work for some families but may be impractical for others. The children’s ages, routines, travel distance and wider family arrangements should all be considered.
Q: Can we alternate Christmas Day Solihull each year?
Yes, alternating Christmas Day Solihull is one option parents may consider. For example, one parent could have Christmas Day one year and the other parent the following year. The rest of the festive period can then be arranged around this.
Q: What if my ex refuses to agree to holiday contact?
If you and your ex cannot agree on holiday arrangements, you do not have to keep going around in circles. Family mediation gives you both the chance to explain what you want, listen to each other’s concerns and work towards an arrangement that feels workable for everyone — especially the children.
Q: Can mediation help with school holiday arrangements as well as Christmas Solihull?
Yes. Mediation can be used to discuss a wide range of child arrangements, including Christmas, Easter, half-term, summer holidays, overnight stays, travel and arrangements for birthdays or other important occasions.
Q: What if my child wants to spend Christmas with one parent?
It’s natural for children to have their own feelings about where they want to spend Christmas. Their wishes can be taken into account, depending on their age and understanding. Mediation gives both parents a chance to talk openly about what the child wants and work out an arrangement that supports their happiness while maintaining a positive relationship with both parents.
Q: What happens if we still cannot agree after mediation Solihull?
Mediation does not guarantee that parents will reach an agreement. If an agreement cannot be reached, you can consider what other options may be available, including obtaining independent legal advice about your circumstances.
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